


i have been sleepwalking

by drew_it_craft



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Divergent Timelines, F/M, M/M, Multi, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, ep 111 spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27622148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drew_it_craft/pseuds/drew_it_craft
Summary: A transmutation wizard must address the most difficult equation of his time; his feelings for two very different but equally important people in his life.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 12
Kudos: 50





	1. fortune's favor

**Author's Note:**

> Wibbly timeline stuff, just assume its happening around major plot points, but after ep 111 :3
> 
> This is my first fic I've written in a while, and the first I've written with these characters. Please be kind, and don't forget to love each other!

A gingered head tilted away from where it’d stooped low over a sprawl of paper and ink. It straightened on the freckled neck of the man who’d been waiting for the itching tickle in the back of his brain, hardly able to truly focus on the sigils and scrolling before him. Caleb’s tired eyes lit with a renewed energy as the Alarm spell alerted him to its trigger, a proverbial strum of some string instrument that sent shivers reverberating through his ribcage. 

Exhaling steadily, the wizard placed down his quill and rose from his desk, which took up a portion of the adjoined room between his and Veth’s. Quietly, swiftly, he left the study into the main floor, keeping an eye and ear out for any indication that any of his companions were still awake somewhere in the tower. A mumble of “auf”, and the iris in the center of the floor bloomed open. Caleb stepped trustingly into the air that would carry him through the tiers of his creation, down to the entryway.

To the door he went, swift but mindful not to rush himself lest he appear overeager. With only a gesture, he opened the door. In the corner of the darkened interior of an unassuming tavern room, the doorway shimmered into existence. At the threshold, Caleb paused to peer into the room. 

The door was closed now, but the wire he had drawn across the frame was nowhere to be seen. Broken, easily, given the door had been left unlocked in preparation for the arrival of the individual that stood readily at the end of the bed. Or, hovered would be a more apt description. Though, as soon as Essek spotted the man in the lowly lit door frame, his feet met the ground, and he stroked evenly across the worn wood floor toward him. 

**“Good evening, Widogast.”** Came the silken voice Caleb had come to welcome like a warm cup of tea or a comforting glow of an oil lamp. Caleb noted the soft curve of plum lips, unable to keep from matching it as he dipped his head in a greeting nod, **”Guten Abend, Shadowhand.”** He replied in a near exhale, careful of his volume despite the various floors and sound proof walls of the tower. There, stupidly, Caleb stood in the doorway to take in the Shadowhand as he was washed in the silvery moonlight pouring through a nearby window. 

He did not dress in his filigreed mantle, only a simple purple cloak that draped over a high collared vest of an even darker royal purple, beneath which he wore a puff sleeved black shirt of fine silk. All still very well made, not a thread out of place, but casual in terms of Essek Thelyss. He was so very good at making Caleb feel threadbare in comparison by his sheer existence. 

Essek watched him expectantly, his smile growing for the wandering gaze. **“May I?”** He prompted with a slender hand. Caleb shook himself then, blinking into focus with a small exhale at himself, head shaking in an unspoken chastising. **“Forgive me, yes. Come in.”** Caleb invited, stepping back with a beckoning sweep of his arm, designating within his own mind that this individual was allowed over the metaphysical threshold. Once Essek stood in the foyer, the doorway vanished once more. 

This was not an uncommon occurrence, but it certainly was not nightly. Each of Essek’s visits felt to Caleb like an anomaly, something to cherish and handle with near reverence for how fortunate he was to have it. Essek was a busy man, just as Caleb was. When fate aligned to allow them these evenings, he was not keen on wasting the opportunity. For this, he often did not begin each meeting entirely sure of what to do or say. There was a principal air of formality about it all. For, in the beginning, it had been strictly under the pretense of study. An exchange of knowledge, a diplomatic meeting out of necessity. Quickly, it had devolved into something much more complex than arcane equations.

Still, there was a pattern to it all. A routine, if you will. Essek would arrive just as he had, at a designated time in a designated location. He would trip the wire, Caleb would retrieve him. They would ascend to the study, where they would explore the unfathomable possibility of all of the infinities. Then, they would retire to Caleb’s room, where they would explore the inconceivability of one another’s bodies. 

Each time, Caleb would feel another part of himself destroyed and born anew, as if encased in clay and gem dust. Another part of him forever changed by the hand of Essek Thelyss. But feelings like that were so incredibly complex, so much more difficult than words on a page. He felt himself changed, but never knew quite how to act on it. 

Lucky, then, that Essek could so easily discern every part of him. He sensed the tension on Caleb’s shoulders, spied the way he clasped his hands before him for lack of knowing where to hold them. Lucky that he could so easily set the tone for the night. Smiling softly, Essek extended a hand to take Caleb’s elbow with, “Come along, we haven’t got all night.” He beckoned with a soft tease wrapped in a playful pink ribbon.

Together they strode to the precipice of the staircase. **“Auf,”** Spoke Essek, accustomed now to the function of the tower. Together, they both willed themselves upward, floating back through the center of the nascent tower. On the way up, neither men noticed the small blue figure who’d ducked quickly to hide behind one of the high backed chairs in the parlor. In the very least, Caleb did not. If Essek did, he did not indicate as much.


	2. better than it was before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Essek _compare notes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) :) :)  
>  (more chapters to come)

The next hour commenced as it always did. Conversation and study, an experimentation upon something the pair had been discussing for many weeks now. In the end, their efforts proved fruitless. Disappointing, but the time in one another’s company did not feel unsatisfactory because of it. In fact, Caleb’s spirits had risen quite significantly. Essek was in an upbeat mood this evening, sporting more smiles and playful quips than was usual.

On one occasion, Caleb noticed Essek looking almost expectantly at the door. He was in good enough spirits to tease him about longing to be free of him so soon. To which Essek seemed to renew his focus on Caleb, an unexpected shift in the way his azure gaze met his. 

Caleb studied the gaze, uncertain for a moment what had spurred it, but further thought was left stunted by the hand that came to brush across the warm skin of his cheeks, which were painted soft honey in the light of the lamps nearby. Caleb exhaled softly through his nose, bracing against his instinct to pull away from touch. Always, it was a negotiation with the scarred and scabbed creature called trauma that made a burrow of his body. This touch was not cruel nor unwanted. It was welcome. He leaned into it, lashes fluttering as he placed down his quill and sat a bit forward. 

**“Only waiting for an appropriate time to take you to your chambers.”** Essek explained, lighting a jolt of flame at the pit of Caleb’s stomach. “Oh,” Caleb exhaled, unused to words like this. Clear desire for him. He had discovered the complexity of Transmogrification, but he never would understand what it was that anyone could ever truly want for. **“Well,”** He continued through his breathy laugh, his adam’s apple bobbing beneath stubbled skin that was turning pink, **“I think we might have exhausted all that we could do in this particular room for the evening.”**

 **“I agree.”** Essek hummed, rising then to stand before Caleb, his fingers shifting so that he cupped him gently beneath the chin. Caleb followed readily, exhaled softly through his parted lips. Hopelessly eager. Another amaranthine hand found Caleb’s own, which he held feather light as he was led away from the study, through the side door that would lead directly into Caleb’s simple bedroom. The fireplace was lit, crackling warmly, spilling an ocherous puddle across the floor. 

Feeling hotter than the coal, Caleb found himself led to the bed, which he turned his back to in favor of welcoming Essek closer than they had yet allowed themselves to be this evening. His hands found narrow hips as they pressed flush against his, gripping at the warm skin beneath the fine layers.

Meanwhile, Caleb found his lips occupied, pressed deeply against the plush plum ones he spent too much time thinking of. Through his nose, he drew a heavy breath and let his eyes fall shut, pulling in the smell of Essek. There was something in the way he smelled that Caleb could not place in any other context in the world. It was simply Essek, and nothing else. A combination of things, surely, but he would not allow himself to dissect the distinct smells. There were components he used in spells that were reminiscent, but never exact. 

Greedy for it, he inhaled heavily as they kissed. Strong hands slid along Caleb’s undulating ribs, and a purposeful knee wedged between his thighs. In the base of his throat, the wizard expressed some satisfaction for the purpose with which Essek was conducting this evening. Some nights were soft, slow and calculated. Others were greedier and more feral than this. This was a happy medium, one to which Caleb surrendered himself mindlessly, soothing that beast within his brain enough to offer himself up to the mercy of the Shadowhand.

His own hands worked to shed the cloak from Esseks shoulders, letting it tumble into a puddle at their feet. Soon, the sheets found his back. His hair tumbled across the bedding, loosed from the ponytail it’d been drawn into by a hand that had plunged itself into the auburn waves. Caleb lay with his legs akimbo, welcoming the familiar weight against his hips. Blood had flushed his cock halfway, but the friction ignited him further. 

Below, he kicked free his shoes, and soon heard Essek’s join his in dull thuds on the floor. He ached to speed things along as much as he sought to savor every fleeting moment. Caleb sighed heavily as Essek’s lips moved away from his, instead venturing forth to scribe kisses against the length of his jaw and his flushed neck. Blinking unseeingly into the ceiling, he worked with blind but deft hands to shorn Essek of his vest, then his shirt. Each time the lips had to leave his skin, he wished for them back. Soon, though, his own tunic had joined the flood of fabric below them. 

Bare skin brushing richly together, gooseflesh betrayed the warmth of the room. Caleb felt as if every nerve was exposed, every touch another shock of electric indulgence. He was awash with disbelief at the reality of it, flirting dangerously with a thought in the back of his mind that it all must be some cruel trick of the mind. But nothing ever had quite made him feel so undeniably real as when such magnificent hands were on his skin. 

He was so undeserving, but wasn’t Essek just the same? Both of them together, razing the sanctity of such celebratory intimacy, thieving what neither had earned. Such similar sparks, incendiary and so in danger of being the other’s undoing. But what a beautiful glow they had between them.

Caleb allowed himself the unjust indulgence in this moment. He lifted his hips against the pressure weighing down on him, greedy for friction. Essek read him like a rune, gliding down along his body so that he afforded them room to remove Caleb’s trousers and socks from the equation. Where he’d been semi-flaccid before, he was painfully erect now. Essek, seeing this, grinned beneath his broad nose and sighed into a kiss against the soft skin of the inside of Caleb’s thigh. Caleb shuttered, his weight shifting to flatten his back against the linen beneath him and adjust the width of his knees. A chuckle from Essek crawled along his skin, shortly followed by the mumbled words of, **“Excited, are we?”**

 **“Oh, what makes you say that?”** Caleb exhaled back, a drunken grin curling along his lips. Hazy, he looked down the length of himself to where Essek set about working a deep purple bruise into his pale skin, possibly on a mission to make that patch of flesh match his own complexion. It was tender and painful in a way that Caleb relished. Inhaling sharply between his teeth, he simmered with the satisfaction of the sensation. A mark he would look upon as he bathed for weeks to come, watching as it slowly faded into a memory. 

When Essek seemed satisfied with his work, he moved boldly onward, leaving Caleb to slog through the haze he’d fallen into to keep up with the movements. Essek’s hands curled beneath Caleb’s thighs, palms settling against the tops of his thighs as he moved his wetted lips along the length of his erection. The wizard sighed out a small curse in Zemnian, his head tilting to the side as he rested an arm behind it, allowing him to watch as Essek took his length in his mouth. Jaw tight, he caught a breath in his chest as Essek swallowed him to the hilt, which was not an impossible thing to achieve, but still a feat that Caleb was always amazed at the ease with which the Shadowhand could do it. 

His heels finding a resting place against Essek’s lower back, Caleb volleyed for sensible thought as a rhythm was found. Long, deep strokes. A skilled tongue, so adept in negotiation and spell cast, now expertly serving a sensual purpose. Through his teeth, his lung deflated, and Caleb moaned into the savagery of lust, his hips tilting eagerly forward as he chased gratification. For minutes, hours, maybe days, he relished in the praise of his cock, fingers tucked into neat white curls, anchored as if he were going to float away right through the ceiling. 

And, just as he reached the precipice of ecstasy, his sighs and moans growing desperate, the mouth came away. Curel, so very unforgiving, but from the edge upon which he teetered Caleb found almost the same pleasure as he might have from coming. Grinning wickedly, he looked across flushed cheeks to watch Essek sit away from him and crawl from the bed. At mercy of the mage’s will, he watched him shed his own dark trousers and grip the blushed purple shaft that stood monolithic amidst a field of cropped ivory hair. 

With a swift flick of his wrist, Essek summoned from an extradimensional pocket in time a small, clear vial. All too aware of what this was, Caleb inhaled heavily in preparation for the moment that Essek returned to him. When he did, Caleb draped his legs over top of Essek’s folded knees, scooting himself closer as the vial was upturned and the honey colored liquid inside spread across deft fingers. Fingers which, when wetted, moved to gently press against the sensitive spot between his thighs. 

**“ _Scheisse._ ”** He shuddered, a trembling in the very core of him as the fingers trailed a circular pattern. The somatic component to his eventual undoing. Caleb’s free hand moved to grip at what he could reach of Essek, hold firm and wanting, also bracing against the hot tingle that swallowed him, warming him physically with the aid of the contents of the vial. Shortly, the fingers pressed inward, sliding easily past the threshold. Shuttering, Caleb bit at his own lower lip as he tilted his head into his sheets, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat.

It was not long before Essek found a smart, swift rhythm in which to pump his fingers. Both Caleb and Essek’s breathing hitched as Essek gripped at his own cock, pumping it lightly at the sight of Caleb bucking against the strokes. Warmed and welcoming, Caleb urged Essek to ease into him with a low whimper of, **“Take me.”** and a firm grip at his rolling wrist. Not needing much more than that, Essek exhaled softly through his nose as he withdrew his fingers, using the liquid to wet his cock thoroughly.

**“Come, then.”** Commanded Essek with a waving hand, **“On your knees.”**

Feeling that he weighed a hundred pounds and also as though he was light as the feathers he kept to keep from plummeting to death so often, Caleb picked himself up from the sheets so that he could roll to his knees. Hands on his hips pulled him where he needed to be, a flat palm pressing against his middle back directing him to bow forward. Heart beating into his throat, he pulled a pillow closer to grip as Essek pressed the tip of his cock against his readied entrance. Cruelly, the Shadowhand took his time, admiring the way the deep plum of his cock contrasted with the pale flesh he ran it against. Caleb, ever patient, found himself over-eager in this moment. He thought he’d done a pretty well good job pacing himself thus far, thank you. So, he rocked his hips away, denying Essek the luxury of play with a mumbled, **“Don’t tease. Fuck me.”**

With renewed vigor, Essek grabbed hold of Caleb’s hips again, jerking him back to where he’d been with an electrifying force. Grinning against his pillow, Caleb exhaled at the sharp strike against his left cheek, a playfully scolding, **“Remember who you are speaking to, Widogast,”** sounding from above. Oh, he loved to play that hand, didn’t he? Shadowhand Essek Thelyss, a dangerous and deceiving spy, a man to whom Caleb owed many favors.

Right, he knew. It made it sweeter that for all of that, Essek was powerless to his wanting. He exhaled heavily as he felt the head of Essek’s cock press against him, though it caught in his throat as the Shadowhand forewent the typical eased glide into him, in favor of thrusting with enough force that it could have hurt were it not for the magic that laced the oil they’d used. 

Fists balling in the simple linen of his bed, Caleb regained his breath as Essek pressed himself to the hilt, relishing the way Esseks’ lungs emptied across his back, sending blankets of gooseflesh across the planes of his skin. Steady hands slid from his hips, trailing firmly over his ribs, one tucking to curve beneath his chest, while the other moved on to grip his shoulder. Slowly now, Essek guided Caleb’s front half back upward. Releasing the sheets, Caleb allowed himself to be stood up on his knees, pressing firmly back against the cock that filled him.

His arms reached back, the light catching briefly on the raised dashes across his forearms, unnoticed and forgotten in the moment. Crossing behind him, he offered his arms to Essek to take, who did so in one hand by the wrists, anchoring him there. With that, he set about a heavy thrust, sparing no inch of himself. It was here that Caleb was glad he’d remembered to conjure sound proofed walls, as per Beauregard’s suggestion. It made him less fearful to let loose the ragged moans that Essek’s thrusting drew from him. Afforded him the privilege of hearing Essek do the same. 

It was all sinful, all incredibly erotic, hearing the way their flesh met and slicked through the oil that seemed incapable of growing dry. Warm and wet, indulgence beyond what either of them were deserving of. If it was this that would damn him to the nine Hells, then so be it. He would take this. The feeling of the cock spearing him, the feeling of a sure hand sliding around to cup him by the throat. Teeth on his skin, a hand on his cock. Stroking, biting, fucking. 

Essek fucked him steadily, tirelessly, only growing sloppier as he focused his stroking of Caleb’s cock. Caleb, flushed and ragged in a way that was nearly blinding, found himself reaching the edge. **“Will you come for me?”** Questioned Essek, his voice gruffer and deeper in a way Caleb suspected only those lucky enough to have him like this ever would hear. **“Yes.”** Caleb sighed, head feeling incredibly heavy as he fought to keep it from hanging forward, his body so on the verge of falling limp, despite the tension he felt building. **“ _Yes._ ”** He panted again as Essek thrust into him with heavier, longer strokes. Then, as if books were being shoved from a shelf to tumble heavily to the floor, he came. Air deflated from his lungs, and he sagged like an overloaded sack, leaning forward against the restraints of Essek’s hands. Essek let him forward, bracing against his hips for the moment as Caleb succumbed to his orgasm, one hand extended to brace him above the bed while the other moved to grip over the hand around his cock. Knees feeling weak, he felt cut loose, like he was drifting through the Astral Sea. 

After a few moments of small, hitched whimpers, Caleb regained enough of himself to reaffirm his stance of his knees, no longer relying entirely on Essek to keep him lifted. Arching his back, he drove himself against the cock that had stilled in him, eager now to return a favor. One of the many he owed this man. 

It would not take long, Essek having been driven so close to the edge by the sight of it all. Soon, he was reveling in the sound of hitched breathing, a low sigh, and the warmth of Essek releasing within him. He stilled, trembling beneath him, miles and miles away from the Material Plane, the Astral Sea, the Divine Gate. Somewhere entirely different. Shed of sin and retribution. 

Soon, Essek’s own weight buckled. The two bodies slumped to one side, away from the mess Caleb had made. Easy, Essek pulled himself away. Caleb did not feel empty from it. In fact, he felt undeniably, inexplicably bursting with fullness. Alive.


	3. lucky to have you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jester confronts Caleb about her suspicions.

The night ended as all nights with Essek ended. For a short time they lay in one another's company, feeling each other’s pulses and calculating one another’s breathing to match it. Eventually, though, things did have to end. It was there that Caleb always dangerously returned to the apprehension that he started each of their meetings with. Unsure of what to do or say, how much he should allow himself to feel the longing to ask him to remain with him. Unsure of how much of that was simple lust, and how much of it were deeper rooted feelings.

Either way, the easiest option was to allow Essek to conduct the departure in whatever way he wanted. That night, Essek rose first, rang the bell to summon a cat down, ordering water and the supplies for a hot bath for Caleb to take, as per Essek’s instruction to do so. Then, he dressed himself, speaking to Caleb about what plans he had for the coming day, or whatever version of those plans were safe for him to share. Then, before Caleb found himself alone in the tub, he kissed him lightly on the lips and bid him goodnight, assuring him that he would not be seen on his way out. 

Downstairs, as Essek left, a blue colored cat perched at the top of the stairs to watch him go. Upstairs, Caleb settled into the prepared bath. In the bubbles, he would sink to the bottom, and slowly return to himself.

\--  
The next morning should have been business as usual. It mostly was, really. Everyone gathered in the dining hall for breakfast, the usual chaos ensuing over pancakes and some bizarre food creation. Caleb kept quiet as he often did, ignoring the feeling of phantom hands on his back and hips and… Ah. He could not ignore the sensation of being watched, though. It was not exactly as though Jester was attempting to be overly subtle anyway.

Those looks… well. Maybe it was the natural bead of guilt within him that oftentimes could mutate into a black hole of self doubt. Or maybe they were strikingly those of someone that knew a secret, and wanted him to know. He tried very hard not to think about it, keeping his face slack and shoulders forward, eating his simple breakfast. 

**“What are we doing today?”** Questioned Beau as she stretched her shoulders out along the length of her staff, looking sweaty and refreshed, a telltale sign that she’d been putting her room to good use. Or perhaps the bed. 

**“Well, I have a few things in town I need to pick up.”** Murmured Caduceus over his cup of tea, his voice a particular gravel from having only just woken up. 

**“Anyone else have anything or… are we just waiting around, I don’t know.”** Veth prompted. They were in the midst of needing to wait a few days for transportation to align for the next leg of blind chaos that was their journey, settled for now for a few days in Zadash. 

**“What about you, Caleb?”** Jester piped up, starling him out of the small stupor he’d fallen into over his toast. He blinked, looking to her in the way he always did. A heavy set of curtains drawn over the deep admiration he had for her. There was an impulse every time he saw her for his heart to sing and his lips to draw into a smile. But, it was always sullied with the muddled, dreary muck of guilt. While Essek made him feel alive, feel real… Jester made him feel like a shell of a man. Petrified in her glow. It was useless, the way he longed to glow with her. 

Though, it was easier to stiffen against it as she continued, **“Anything you’d like to do today? Anyone you wanna go seeee? Mm? Mhm?”** Questioned with a shimmy of her shoulders, leaning in toward him from where she sat on the other side of Fjord, who leaned away from her with a skeptical frown. 

Caleb’s gut clenched. She knew. Somehow. She did. Eyebrows pinching, he glanced away from her and to the faces of the rest of the group, who eyed him with varied levels of interest. Nothing overtly accusing in any other face. 

**“Ahem, no, Jester, I… Well, if there was nothing of great importance needing to get done, I thought I would go to the Archive.”** He answered, looking imploringly to Beau, who glanced at him with a lifted brow and a shrug. 

**“Sure,”** She answered, **“Anything specific you’re looking for there? Think we’ve already researched the shit out of-”**

**“No, no, just, ah. Some light reading.”** Caleb assured with a wave of his hand, happy to be directly talking to Beau for the moment as he gathered himself. He screwed a small smile onto his lips, shrugging stiffly, **“You know. Kill some time.”**

**“I’ll come with you!”** Jester chimed in before Beau could. And while any other day in time, Caleb would be pleased to hear those words, they only felt damning now. Of course, he was cornered. Nowhere to dig. Caleb looked to her innocently, eyes widened and simple, **“Ja, okay.”**

\--

With plans to meet back where they’d been put up for the past few nights, the Mighty Nein went their separate ways for the day. Jester, Beau, and Caleb made their way to the Innerstead Sprawl, and into the Valley Archive. A familiar sight by now, a privilege of which Caleb was aware. Caleb kept his eyes forward, or down, anywhere away from the woman at whom he found himself stealing glances all too often. It was easy, given Jester and Beau were babbling on about if every Pumat had to poop, or if it was just Pumat Prime. Caleb, personally, was of the opinion that all them pooped. Everybody poops, ja?

Fecal discussion subsided as Beau swaggered their way into the library. Leading them to a table Beau inhaled heavily then exhaled in a sigh, **“Well, see you back at the inn.”** She bid them.

 **“Oh, you aren’t staying?”** Caleb questioned, maybe a bit more desperate than he ought to have been. Of course Beau noticed that. Her smile slipped just a bit, eyebrow lifting as she switched her tone. **“Eh, no, I was gonna go talk to Pumat about some enchantment. Why? You need me?”**

 **“No.”** Caleb said, head shaking, ears warming at the tips as he felt Jester’s gaze on him. **“No, I just did not know if you’d need to be here while I- while we study.”** It would have been rude to outright ignore her presence all together. Beau, nodding, didn’t call him on his bullshit if she smelled it. **“Nah, they know your faces. It’ll be fine, just don’t fuck up, kay?”**

Before he could properly respond, she was turning to leave them. Caleb stared after her for a moment, loosing a delayed, **“Ja, okay.”** Before realizing Jester’s gaze had not left his face. He inhaled heavily, then looked to her with his practiced stone wall expression. **“Well, what is it that you wanted to research here, Jester?”** He questioned, emboldened for a fleeting moment that he was able to poke a hole right into her bluff. Of course, she was better than to entirely deflate.

 **“I wanted to see if there were any old storybooks here. Like children’s books!”** Jester volleyed brightly. Though, she knew what she was doing as she did it. A reminder of the night they’d shared recently. Where she had sat nearly in his lap as he read her the storybook from his childhood, her head resting on his shoulder, hand on his chest. The feelings from the evening were still raw, untouched things for him. A knot in the back of his mind yet to be untangled. Though, his feelings for Jester in their entirety were that knot. That night had only tightened it further. 

**“Ah, well… I don’t know if they will.”** Caleb answered carefully, glancing around the shelves nearest them. 

**“I’ll look!”** Jester assured, bouncing onto her toes, though didn’t move to do so just yet. **“You know what I’ve been thinking though? We should ask our friends if there's any children's books from their homes that they like. And keep them in the tower! Oh! We could even ask people that may be guests one day. Do you think Essek would remember any Krynn ones?”**

Caleb regarded her with a stony expression. She knew, and he had faith in her to know that he knew that she knew. Stupid. So… this pretense was nearly comical. He laughed despite the way he felt like there was a knife in his gut. Guilt. Not for his relationship with Essek; he was not ashamed of the way he felt for him, and what they did together.

The guilt came in the fact that despite what he felt for Essek; whatever it was; he felt it the very same for Jester. And he was guilty. Because he did not deserve to want for either of them, let alone both. Neither truly deserved his pining. At least with Essek, who was sinfully similar to him in many ways, they met one another head on from the same lowly level. 

But Jester? She was better than he ever could have hoped to be. Even without the Academy, without Trent… Caleb never could have been so good as she was. 

**“Ah, well, I will have to ask him next time we see him.”** Caleb assured, trying in vain to move away from the topic all together. Though, part of him knew that he did not want to. It had to be addressed. Just… did it need to be here? Now? If not there and then, then when? 

**“Next time he comes over?”** Jester prompted, unavoidably. Caleb exhaled softly, deflating some as he settled into where he’d been leaning his hip against the table. Thankful that they had to keep their voices down. Though, he did not think she would have yelled it otherwise. The way she stated it, it was playful, but coated with a silky smooth layer of sincerity. Not an accusation, only imploring. An unspoken question of why he’d kept a secret.

It helped to make him feel less cornered, but no less awful. Licking the inside of his lip, Caleb nodded softly. **“Ja. Maybe.”** He nodded. **“You, ah… You saw us, ja?”** He questioned, knowing already.

 **“Mhm.”** Jester said, smiling in the way he’d long since knew was faked. It never quite reached her eyes, which he looked at most often. Sparkling gems of tanzanite. He knew their shine, and when they’d lost it. **“I was exploring as a cat when he got there… you guys were together for a long time.”** She explained, tone dipping suggestively as her eyebrows raised. Ah, of course. He should have known she would be.

 **“Ja, we were.”** Caleb confirmed, nodding with a clear of his throat. **“I, erm. We have been meeting regularly. For study.”** He explained, not untrue in his statement. They did study. Spells, magic items, one another’s bodies. Jester fixed him with a slight squint of her eyes. 

**“In your bedroom?”** She questioned. Gods, how long had she been spying? Had she… he wracked his brain, feeling evil for it, trying to recall if he saw any glimpse of blue fur during the entire evening. Caleb struggled for words, his face straining some as he attempted to maintain his façade. He and Jester both spoke at the same time, his a mumble of, **“Jester…”** , and hers a peep of, **“Sorry.”**

He looked away from her, and she bit at the inside of her lip. He felt as though he were made of slime, and wanted nothing more than to shield her eyes away from having to see the monstrosity that was his repulsive form. How ugly, how awful was he to want for her still, to wish she had not found out. He could tell it hurt her, he could see in the way she constructed her smile like paper mâché. 

He wanted to grab her by the face, assure her that whatever he felt for Essek, it was not any more special or all consuming as was the way he felt for her. But that would be cruel. How could she accept that? What was she to do with that confession but to feel like she was a second choice? How evil, to make her feel unwanted when he was in no place to want her to begin with. 

**“It’s okay. Caleb. It’s okay.”** She overlapped, her tiny azure hands moving to collect his. He let her, powerless to her touch. **“It… I thought- I mean! I’m happy for you. You deserve it.”** A knife in the gut, cold steel that cut him at the navel, twisting sharply. His head shook, a frown inevitable. 

**“I should have told you.”** He managed to exhale. 

**“No! I mean, it's your privacy, yeah? And it’s not like it wasn’t obvious you liked him.”** Jester, ever the actress, maintained a chipper and playful tone, her nose wrinkled and smile perfectly sculpted. Except the eyes. It did not reach her eyes. The knife twisted further. 

**“...Ja. Ahm.”** Caleb cleared his throat, picking up his chin. How unfair to Essek to squirm and squeal like he was some awful secret to be kept. It was not Essek he was ashamed of. **“Still. I am sorry to keep a secret. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”**

 **“Hurt me! What!”** Jester volleyed back, head shaking, some bell or another chiming with the movement. A giggle in the way she moved. Musical, magical. How awful to want to hear it always. **“You didn’t hurt me! I only want you to know that the secret is safe with me, if you want it to be. I won’t tell anyone.”** She swallowed down another word, instead flashing her pointed teeth and waggling her brows imploringly. 

He could have told her then. Explained to her she did not understand why he was sorry. Tell her that he was not afraid to let his feelings for Essek be known. Tell her that it was his own selfishness that he guarded, pulled a sheet over to shield from his friends. But to do so would be to address that tangled knot in the back of his mind. How stubbornly tight it was by now. So complex, something that his mind could not begin to untangle. How stupid he’d been to have let things go the way they had with the book. He should have done the spell instead. 

**“Ja. Well, I would like that.”** He said with a small inhale through his nose, head nodding as he forced himself to look over her face. **“For now.”** He added, squeezing her hands lightly. He wanted never to let them go. **“The timing is… well. More things for the group to focus on right now, yes?”** He prompted, a tentative step away from the topic.

 **“Yeah. Right.”** Jester agreed, dropping his hands and smoothing her skirt. **“For real though, will you help me try and find those books?”** She questioned, snapping back into her upbeat velocity. He hummed a soft laugh, head shaking as he moved a hand for her to take the lead, **“Of course, Miss Lavorre.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chug chuggin along, thanks for the kudos so far :)


	4. trouble is a friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an insightful conversation with a trusted friend, Jester reaches out to Essek about their shared interest in Caleb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit different! Another POV, which was fun to slip into! This was meant to be a short filler chapter, whoopsie!

The hour was late, but Jester could not sleep. She instead sat cross legged in her art studio, the walls of which she was slowly decorating more and more. Tonight, she was working on the group portrait of the Nein, though her attention was drawn specifically to the painting of Caleb. She was finding it hard to get his likeness just right. Every time she drew him, she noticed that. For as well as she knew every line and splotch of his face, there seemed to be something missing. She held the tip of her tongue just so in between her teeth, squinting at the way she’d painted his eye. 

Something missing, but what was it? She stared. Was it just lacking emotion? Maybe that was it. But she’d seen him so many times, seen him exhibit so many emotions before. But maybe that was her problem. She was trying to paint him the way she saw him when he was looking at other people, or looking over a book, not the way he looked when he looked at her. At her. When he looked at her, there was something different from the other times.

Jester exhaled heavily at that, sinking into a criss cross on the floor and slumping her shoulders. Stupid! Why did she think that? **”Ugh, I’m just making things up aren’t I?”** She pouted to thin air. But then, it wasn’t thin air. It was the Traveller, sitting beside her with his hands braced back, feet crossed lazily in front of him. His hood was drawn away from this fiery mane, and he quirked one magnificent brow at her. **”What do you mean?”**

Jester looked up at him, feeling kind of tearful. **”Like, I’m seeing what I want to see. Caleb doesn’t look at me differently than anyone else, right?”** A pointed tooth caught her lower lip, and she inhaled around it as she looked back to the painting. The Traveller knew, of course. She’d told him all about her feelings for Caleb. She’d told him all about her feelings about everyone! But Caleb was… special. And The Traveller knew that.

 **”I… don’t know, Jester. I mean, maybe he does. He’s a tough cookie to read.”** Said The Traveller. Jester sighed through her nose, smiling despite herself at how simply accurate that was. She nodded, looking back to her companion. **”Yeah, then maybe I’m reading him wrong. It’s okay anyway. Doesn’t matter. He and Essek are a thing now, did you know?”**

The Travellers eyebrows went up, mildly surprised. **”I didn’t. How do you feel about that? Do you want me to-”**

Jester laughed before he could finish, head shaking as she wagged a finger at him to stop. **”N-no. It’s… I mean!”** She exhaled in a squeak, shoulders slumping further as she tilted her head up to the ceiling, **”It sucks! I like! I don’t know! I wish I’d known. I feel… stupid.”**

 **”Well, you certainly aren’t that.”** Countered The Traveller. 

**”I know… ugh. I know. And… I want him to be happy. And I think Essek will do that. I hope. Or I’ll cut his head off if he isn’t.”**

**”There’s my girl.”** Hummed the Traveller, swaying slightly to bump shoulders. There was a moment of silence, Jester toying with the brush in her hand with a weak smile. She felt The Traveller’s eyes on her, so she looked up. He was a little softer than he usually was, and she braced for some gooey emotional stuff about her not needing anyone and- 

**”I can tell you still have feelings for him. And… I’m sorry it’s turning out differently than you’d hoped. But… well, what exactly is stopping it from being something still?”** He questioned. Jester straightened up, head shaking some. **”I mean… what do you mean? I told you, he’s like, fucking Essek.”** She clarified, eyebrows wiggling for emphasis. Had he not gotten what she meant? 

**”No, I understand. I just mean… well, I don’t know how common it is on Exandria, but where I’m from, relationships aren’t just defined by being between two people.”** The Traveller hinted, eyebrows lifting to match Jester’s. 

Jester paused to digest that. Not just two people. So… did he want Caleb to cheat? Or was it more a mutual thing. A threesome? **”AreyoutellingmetoaskCalebandEssektodoathreesome??”** Jester squeaked, cheeks flushing deep purple. 

**”I mean!”** The Traveller exclaimed, eyebrows pinching, **”If we’re just talking about sex, I don’t care what you do! That’s up to you three. I’m just saying… polyamory isn’t impossible.”** He shrugged. 

**”Who knows, maybe its just a physical thing for those two. I can’t say. All I know is, it sounds like you should talk to Caleb and Essek both about it.”** The Traveller concluded, sincere at the end, his voice settled. Sensing that, he added, **”Or don’t, just let yourself get petty and jealous. Mess with them when they’re together. That should be fun to watch.”** He didn’t mean that, but she knew he had to say it because of who he was as a person. Deflection. 

Jester sighed, head shaking as he looked back to her painting. **”Feelings are hard.”** She concluded. **”They are, that’s why I don’t do them.”** Chimed The Traveller. Jester rolled her eyes, looking back at him. **”Yes you do. Thank you. Go away before you see me cry.”** She teased, though mostly serious. 

**”Ew. Bye.”** He scoffed back, and just like that, he was gone. Jester inhaled heavily as she drank in the silence, once more looking back to the painting. There was a lot to think about. If anything, she had realized she didn’t really know the extent of Caleb and Essek’s relationship. Really, she’d mostly made assumptions. Caleb had seemed guarded and taken by surprise that she’d figured it out, so she hadn’t pressed much. She considered going to him now to ask, but she didn’t want to annoy him.

Logically, the only other person she could try and discern it from was the other person in the relationship. Inhaling shakily, Jester gathered herself from the ground and padded into her bedroom, clambering onto the frilly bed Caleb had so carefully crafted for her. A few cats slunk up to her from where they’d been cuddling in a pile with Sprinkle. She gathered one up in her arms as she looked at her canopy, the undulating picture of Nicodranas. 

**”Hey.”** She started her message, unsure of where Essek was and what time it was for him. **”Um, just wanted to see how you’re doooing.”** She attempted to chime, but the notes were flat and unconvincing. **”See if you missed us. Um…. we miss you! Hopefully we can see you again soon.”** Then she was cut off, and she inhaled as she waited for the response. 

If she was being honest with herself, the sound of Essek’s voice did give her butterflies. It wasn’t like she didn’t find him attractive. Like! How do you not!! It just never was something she thought she ever had a chance at. Just a silly crush, whatever. But The Traveller’s words weighed on the back of her mind as he responded, sounding a bit groggy. 

**”Ah, Jester. I am doing well. I… ah… yes. Sure, yes, I miss you. All.”** There was a pause in which Jester prepared to send another message, but he continued before she could, **”You sound strange. Are you alright?”**

 **”Me! What! Yes, yep, I-”** She began to squeak, belatedly realizing she hadn’t cast Sending again. Inhaling heavily, her heart hammering, she sent it again, **”I’m okay! Just checking in. You mean a lot to us and...”** Oh, Gods, she had more words to use! She was panicking! Help! Ack! Just say what you meant to say! **”And, um, Caleb! Um. A lot. I think!”** Her words were all but squeaks at the end, her face scrunching as she shook her head. So! Stupid!

She’d fucked that up big time. Now Essek would never talk to her again! And he’d tell Caleb, and it would be so awkward! Jester melted in the misery of the lengthening time, aware that Essek was completely ignoring her now. Ugh. She should have just-

 **”You all mean very much to me, too. Caleb… especially. I am assuming that you saw us together this past evening.”** Came his voice, carefully steady. It was not in response to her spell, but actually one he had sent. Jester straightened up, taken slightly off guard. Gosh. Honestly, if she hadn’t seen them last night, they’d both have been failing so hard at keeping their secret! One inkling from someone that addressed their obvious flirting, and they were both fessing up to it! 

**”I… yeah. I did. Caleb said it was studying, but I know.”** She answered, clutching the purring cat to her chest as she stared into the distance, feeling weird about being on the other end of a sending spell. **”Are you guys…. Like… together-together, or?”** For some reason, she didn’t count her words. Maybe just being the answering end. 

Soon, Essek was responding. 

**”We… it’s, erm, hard to define. But it is something we both would appreciate being kept private information for the time being. If you would not mind.”** Essek said, sounding guarded. Jester frowned softly, her insides clenching. It was clear he cared and valued it. 

**”I- I know. He told me. And I wouldn’t anyway. I’m… I want him to be happy. I mean, I want you both to be.”**

There was a longer pause there. Longer than she expected. She sat patiently, wondering if he was done there. 

Eventually, though, 

**”Thank you, Jester. He… we are happy. And I am glad you care for him. You seem… close to him.”** If she let herself believe it, there was some question in his tone, despite how level he was trying to keep it.

 **”I mean, he’s like one of my best friends.”** Jester responded easily. **”He’s been through a lot. And I feel like I understand him. Kind of. I just-”** ”I just want what’s best for him. I want him to have a better future than his past.”

Again, a lengthy pause, but not too long that Essek had to send his own spell back. 

**”Jester… do you have feelings for him?”**

Jester exhaled heavily, throwing her head back against her pillow. **”FUCK!”** She exclaimed aloud. Eyes squeezed shut, she swallowed down her tearfulness. Why was this so hard! Why was it so see-through? How did Essek even know!? What kind of insane insight did this man have into the meaning behind her words?

Frowning, she cast it again. In a rare show of brevity, she responded, **”How could you tell?”** A waste of a spell. She was glad she hadn’t used any today, and she wouldn’t need them again tonight.

**”I can just… tell. You speak about him in the same ways I think about him. In most ways, in the very least..”**

Jester’s turn to be quiet now as she agonized over that. She chewed the inside of her cheeks, staring up at the painting he’d made for her. The way the tides rolled, the lighthouse strobed in slow, sweeping beams. How much he’d taken care to make things perfect for her. For all of them. How easy it was to have feelings for him. How he’d told her the story in his room by the fire. How he looked at her. How he looked at her. How he looked at her.

She sniffed softly. Once more sending her message.

 **”I do. A lot. But I also don’t want to ruin something he’s happy with. And I don’t want to hurt you either, Essek.”** She couldn’t help the tearfulness she spoke with. His response was short to come.

 **”I do not think you want to. I… appreciate that you care this much. And… I admit I am glad there is someone else that values him-”** A pause, but not for long as he sent his spell, **” As much as I do. You are good, Jester. A much better person than I. I’ve no doubt that you are good for him.”**

Somehow, that made her feel worse. She hadn’t meant to make him feel like she was trying to impose or compete! Honestly, she wanted to just… make sure that he was treating Caleb the way she knew he deserved. This had devolved so quickly, though. 

**”You’re good for him, too, Essek. Don’t… don’t feel like you’re not. I’m a mess, too.”** She assured, exhaling in a wet laugh, head shaking. **”You’re good. You both are.”**

A pause, before,

**”I am trying to be. I am glad to have good examples to look to. You are one of the best.”**

Jester felt like she’d swallowed her rod of hand warming. A hot beam of warmth in the center of her body. She swallowed heavily, inhaling through her nose. Alright. This was fine! She’d had a crush, but he’d found someone else that was good for him! That was something she had to live with. And she could! It wasn’t the end of the world!

 **”Thank you, Essek. Um. Just know I’ll break you in half if you hurt him, okay?”** She tried for mirth there, but it was watered down by her stupid tears. 

**”I have no doubt."** He hummed softly, maybe sadly. 

And either because they both were out of spells, or because it hurt too much to continue to talk about it, neither of them sent another message that evening.


	5. find your better self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essek does what he thinks is best for the man he so adores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry for the wait, holidays and work beat me up good <3 hope you guys enjoy, we're heading in for a big finale >:3

Time passed as it always did, a whirlwind blur of action and danger. There were nights that Caleb lay in his bed, staring blankly into the velvety darkness that pressed against the backs of his eyes like weighted stones, and wondered how the day that preceded him had been possible. Constantly, he wondered how he was not a dead man. Always, he concluded it was because of his friends. Always, it was them that kept him alive. Though it left him to feel like a corpse when the time came to be alone.

Nevertheless, days happened, nights passed. Weeks went by since the last time he saw Essek. And now, in the furthest reaches of Exandria, in the depths of the eternal winter, they reunited. It was hours after the group had arrived at the outpost that Essek was overseeing. Business had been done, the group ever coming first. Plans made, things discovered. All that was left was for the night to pass. There were so few chances to spend nights together, could anyone blame them for doing so?

This night was different. Essek was a known guest in the tower, having been invited to stay for dinner and sleep somewhere warm for a change. There was danger in giving too much away this time. It did not discourage them from retiring to the study, where they did what they always did. Pouring over notes and queries they’d made in their time apart, sipping warm tea and trying for a moment to forget the frigidity of the morning to come. 

**”You’ve all been doing well on your journey?”** Essek prompted, tone soft as he looked away from his book. Caleb straightened, looking to him, **”Mm. This tower has come in very handy.”** He answered. Essek smiled, glancing around in agreement. Though, his gaze swiftly settled back down on Caleb, a placid blue like a pane of ice.

**”I hope you can keep each other warm when you don’t have it.”** Essek hummed. Caleb smiled at that, thinking back to the first night in the dome, the “character building” they’d attempted. **”We are very good cuddlers, the Mighty Nein.”** He said in answer.

 **”Oh? Is there anyone in specific that you like to cuddle with?”** Essek prompted, a manicured brow quirking lightly. Caleb paused there, a laugh caught in his throat at the strange question. Despite himself, a flush bloomed across the back of his neck and around the rims of his ears. Betrayed by his own body, he shrugged, **”No, no favorites. It’s only for body heat.”** He assured. 

**”Oh.”** Essek said, eyes squinting some as he nodded in understanding, a deft finger punctuating that. **”I see. My guess would have been Jester.”** Partly playful, partly… a touch of something that drew Caleb’s full attention. He folded the book in his hands closed, clearing his throat as he adjusted his chin to be more level. **”What makes you say so?”** He questioned. 

**”Mm.”** Observed Essek. **”I see.”** He hummed, nodding as if he’d just solved some calculation. Caleb found himself feeling guarded, bristling slightly at the words. What did he mean by them? What assumption was he making? Was this some form of jealousy? Some distrust on Essek's part? 

**”Essek-”** Caleb began, unsure of where he was headed the moment he formed words. However, Essek stopped him with a warm chuckle, a lift of his hand and a slight dip of his chin. **”Caleb. I will spare you the effort of reassuring me. I meant only to confirm what I have suspected for some time now.”** Caleb’s gut clenched, a sweat pricking at the base of his neck. The words here were of accusation, and yet there was nothing of it in the tone. In fact, they were almost reassuring in the way Essek strung them together. He didn’t understand. 

**”Please.”** Caleb said through a lump in his throat, **”Do not assume that I… it’s only fondness, I-”**

Essek’s fingers found the underside of Caleb’s jaw, and he ceased speaking. A sure hand held him still, completely enraptured as Essek rose to stand before him. Leaning close, the drow placed a sweet kiss against the center of Caleb’s forehead, then his lips, before pulling away. **”You sweet, romantic man.”** Cooed Essek. **”I know what it is. I know, because I have seen it myself. I have felt the gaze you shower her with. I know its sweetness.”**

Caleb could not speak, partly for the hand at his jaw, and the tremor in his chest. Fear, guilt, heartache. He had betrayed him. He had been too obvious, too selfish, too-

**”I am not a good man, but I think I would be truly evil if I did not share it.”**

Confusion stitched Caleb’s brows tightly together, but Essek’s thumb smoothed the skin reassuringly. What did he mean? Share it… by cutting Caleb loose? By leaving him, so he could be with Jester? That was not what he wanted. Absolutely the opposite. But what he wanted, truly wanted for, it was… impossible. A useless thing to desire.

And yet. **”She shares these feelings. We’ve spoken. I can tell that she cares for you as much as I do.”** Essek said steadily, still smiling, still inviting as a cool drink of water. **”I want you to have that.”** He concluded. 

Caleb’s head shook in the small way that it was able to. What was this? He could hardly process it. Jester’s feelings were… Caleb knew. In some small ways that he wanted so badly to ignore. He knew Jester felt at least in some way similar to him. He felt such a criminal, for having ever allowed her to feel them in the first place, let alone turn them unrequited. And now Essek knew, and he was… 

**”Essek, I… I don’t want to lose you.”** Caleb said. Tried to say, at least. It was less saying, and more begging, than anything. Pitiful. Essek laughed, a quiet, purring sound. 

**”Lose me? Darling.”** He hummed, head shaking, thumb brushing across Caleb’s bottom lip. **”I said I wasn’t evil, I did not say I was not selfish. You are not losing me. I only want you to have both.”**

Both. Caleb shut his lips into a tight line. He swallowed heavily, peering up into the midnight face of his lover. Searching for deception, for true intentions, for anything. Instead, there was only the same sweet softness he was always greeted with. The kind he felt special to have, to know that he was of the few that had ever been treated to it. Essek wanted him to have both. Sweetness from him, and sweetness from Jester. How could… how could he think that he deserved that? How could he not feel betrayal, to know that Caleb’s heart was not entirely his?

Possibly because he knew that, despite the fact that he was in love with Jester, it did not make his heart any less whole for Essek. It was a complex thing, and while he had felt similar conflicts with Astrid and Wulf, it’d never been so wholly clear to him. He had loved Astrid, and lusted for Wulf. He knew that it was different here. He loved both, in such endlessly different ways, but with the same degree of genuine passion. 

A glutton. He did not deserve either. His and Essek’s was a sinful thing. Jester was no innocent child, she had done horrible things just like the rest of them, but her love had a purity about it that Caleb could not fathom dirtying with his ash-caked fingers. So then why could he not deny the idea of it? 

**”Is… that what she wants?”** He questioned, hardly above a whisper.

 **”I do not know.”** Essek mused softly, his smile slightly sadder for the things he saw swimming in Caleb’s eyes. **”But we can ask her.”** Before Caleb could manage to protest, Essek’s fingers had left his face so that he could quickly encant Sending. 

**”Jester,”** He bid kindly, invitingly, **”Do you mind visiting myself and Caleb in his study?”** Caleb, of course did not hear the response. He only saw Essek’s pleased smile, which made his stomach twist in a way that made him feel faint. Rising from his seat, Caleb made to pace the study, fingers moving to clutch at his hair. Essek was there to stop him, holding him by the wrists, standing in his path. **”Calm yourself, darling.”** He soothed. **”Remember that you still have me.”**

How could Caleb tell him that it was not that he feared most? He did not want to lose Jester. He did not want to let the ball of light that he clutched so dearly slip through his fingers over this. No matter the outcome, there was change to come. There was no going back to the Jester he had had one hour ago. And while that Jester he had was shrouded in his own guilty longing, at least she was the Jester he had always had. The Jester that stepped through the door, no matter what, would be different to him by the time she left it once more.

Alas, there was nothing he could do to stop it as the tiny knuckles of a woman so built to kill and create knocked out an upbeat tune on the wooden door. He stilled, holding his breath as she pushed it open, peeking in with a blooming smile.


End file.
